I woke up to an all familiar feeling.  My heart ached a little and I was sure my body had let go. The tears tried to fall but my body had made a decision and it was time to move on. There was no elation; I fought my thoughts to retrieve a memory that would rekindle the fight I had to love her but there was nothing.

I  have been here before and I know what it means to not move on and what it means to do. But for me moving on is shutting everyone else out. I get the occasional heartache almost leading to tear spasms when I am alone and fight it off with the focused soldier routine, further alienating me from everything else.

It’s different not having gained love and losing it. I wonder how this would affect our friendship.





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